Education · lifestyle · Personal

FGM is a silent epidemic

It has been a while since I last posted. It’s been a long road, and its almost near the end…. or shall I say the beginning.

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The stress of being in final year….in my final semester has honestly been the most difficult thing I have done. I honestly thought it could not get any worse, little did I know.

Completing my final project was a challenge that I thoroughly enjoyed doing, despite the anxiety and troubles it would cause me. All those late nights and days being spent in the library was an experience, one which I could look back on and smile about now….although during that period I did not think I could ever smile about it. I don’t think anyone does when you’re in that position.

The topic I choose was an extremely difficult and personal one, it was on Female Genital Mutilation (FGM), for those that don’t know, it is an extremely barbaric practice which involves the removal of all or, part of a women’s genitalia for non-medical reasons; it is considered a violation of the human rights of women and girls. It is a cultural practice, practised in 28 countries in Africa, in Asia and the Middle East.

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Spending almost four months working on this project and reading very distressing content daily as part of the research was honestly the most difficult thing I have done. But I did it, I managed to complete my project and ended up achieving an outstanding grade.

All the anxiety and overwhelming emotions was honestly worth it at the end. What kept me going was the fact that I want to be able to help these women!

I wanted to highlight that FGM is a problem, regardless of where you are in the world, it is affecting our women and girls. It is estimated that over 2million girls have undergone FGM in countries which it is concentrated.

My project looked at the challenges these women face when accessing healthcare services.

Conclusion….it is a problem and it is unacceptable. 

‘Some health care workers do not want to question those who have been subjected to FGM or , even the practice itself, for fear of disrespecting peoples culture’.

As members of society it is our duty of care to protect all vulnerable people including women, children and the disabled.  and girls The phrase “disrespecting people’s culture” should not be a reason why we do not act to protect members of society; we should not let people be abused in the name of culture.

Why do we do this?

Is it because these women and children are black or from any other ethnic minority background, dark-skinned, bilingual, which is why we do not question this practice? Is it because you do not consider them your children?

And yes, FGM is abuse; it is dangerous and considered a felony. Many of these women do not consent to the practice, while others are manipulated to have it done. If they refuse to have it done then they will be marginalised and ostracised from community members.

I want you to know that just because FGM is a cultural practice :

A. does not mean that you cannot question it

B. does not mean that you cannot call it abuse

C.does not make it acceptable

D. does not suggest that these women or girls, or those from practising communities do not want help.

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We must know longer sit in silence and stand up against FGM!

Just know that despite all the pain, stress and emotions you experience whilst studying, it will not last long; remember that you will look back and wonder why you was stressing.

Tips for achieving a *:

  1. you must know what you want and really want it
  2. develop a good relationship with the library
  3. research
  4. speak to those already involved in the topic such as activists
  5. be enthusiastic and passionate about topic.

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Stay bliss and remember to beboldhideless

A x

Life · Uncategorized

Life is not cheap

Beauty can be defined as the quality present in a thing or person that gives intense pleasure or deep satisfaction to the mind.

To summarise, I define beauty as happiness. 

It is not a state or quality rather, it is moments that inspire and represent the attractiveness of our souls. It is the moments we feel free, happy, alive and proud.

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The standard of beauty in todays society is constantly evolving and changing. What is considered beautiful today, will change tomorrow.  The more stressed and frustrated we are about todays beauty standards, the likelihood it is to change tomorrow.

Hold up…… does that mean that I have to constantly work every day on different parts of my body to be considered beautiful? to fit into the standard of beauty? Yes, unfortunately thats what society wants. 

Many women in todays society are suffering from a negative body image, low confidence and lack of self-esteem. Our women are constantly being pushed and labelled to fit into todays standard of beauty; beauty which was different from yesterday, heading to the left and tomorrow, will deviate to the right.

Beauty has been distorted and is often misunderstood. It has become something we strive for rather than seeing it in our most happiest moments.

I can honestly say that the times I have felt happy and beautiful, was when I did not fit into the beauty standards; my face was not painted with makeup, my hair straight, I did not have the most money nor was I wearing the trendiest of clothes. I was the complete opposite- and this is the moment I felt beauty.

I felt beauty when I was at my most happiest moment; and this is because I was alive and did not consider or believe in society’s standard of beauty.

I have not always been aware of this….

During my teen years, I battled with my self-image and confidence. I was never slim nor was I a big girl; I was always in-between. Although some thought I was small. As I grew older, I became obssesed and paranoid about my weight, exercising almost every week. I was very focused on being skinny and having prominent bones- because society considered this as beauty.

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It gradually started becoming a problem; I began restricting my intake and counting calories. I would aim to consume either one meal a day with one treat or, not eat in a day. Every time I went shopping, I would look at the calories religiously. I would not eat anything unless I knew how much calorie and fat content it contained.  As soon as it hit, 7pm, I would stop eating until the next morning.

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This went on for years; not knowing it was a problem, so I didn’t seek help or mention it to others. It somehow made me feel “beautiful” and in control, although deep down I was harming my body. It’s intriguing because you never see it as harming yourself. You consider it a way of fitting into society, societies beauty standard. Yet, it cost me my health. I was deficient in vitamins and was not healthy.

I realised that it had to end. This lifestyle was not healthy and was costing me my health. It was not beautiful. It was dangerous and inexcusable.

Women should not have to put their health on the line to be considered beautiful, why must I hide my beauty or, amend it to fit into society standards; standards which are constantly changing and a society which does not acknowledge you.

It’s not worth it. You are worth millions. You are a diamond. You are beautiful.

Note: Remember, if you are struggling with a similar issue, eating disorder, and are finding it hard to quit, then do seek help!! This is often an issue which can be difficult for a person to ackoelwegdi and work through alone either due to trauma or, bullying and may require assistance of a professional. Please do not feel ashamed or embarrassed. You are beautiful and courageous for surviving. You know longer have to suffer alone, please do reach out. 

Stay strong and remember to beboldhideless. 

A x

Life · lifestyle · Uncategorized

I just want the world to know, you’re

Beautiful.

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This is something we are not told often by our friends, our families, our neighbours, our colleagues or even……ourselves.

It is something that is very very important,

Yet, we are NOT told often……..

We do not tell OURSELVES we are beautiful.

We do NOT hear it enough.

Instead, we hear and focus on all the negative comments,

“You’re too skinny” “you’re fat” “Your thighs are too big” “your skin is too dark”

We cling onto all these nasty comments, that now “we” begin to believe it.

We start living these comments, until we no longer feel good about ourselves,

Until our self-worth heads down the drain and our self-esteem jumps out the window.

O, how happy would that make our enemies!

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Do you ever consider how harmful it is to not tell yourself you are beautiful? To define oneself as beautiful..

“The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,but true beauty in a Woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she knows.”  Audrey Hepburn 

We are so busy focusing on outer beauty, beauty which is short-lived, that we completely neglect our inner beauty, beauty which is long-lasting,

Inner beauty is important for growth, yet many of us neglect it; we are heedless of this. The same way planting a seed requires nurturing and observing, to help it grow and stand strong, is the same way us, as humans require constant nurturing and attention; to allow us to become the best that we can.

In order to focus on this inner beauty, then you need to start by planting and nurturing the seed:

Step 1: You need to start off by telling yourself every day, maybe more than once a day, how beautiful you are…I know it may sound weird or even uncomfortable but, it is vital for growth growth. Once you start nurturing this seed, will you then begin to see the outer beauty.

Step 2: Keep away from toxic individuals.  It may be something that is obvious. But sometimes even those closest to us, are often the most harmful.  Those individuals who constantly highlight your shortcomings and remind you of your imperfections are the ones to avoid. STAY AWAY.

 

I want you to tell yourself:

Upon rising in the morning, tell yourself,

You’re beautiful.

Upon heading to the bathroom, tell yourself

you’re beautiful

Upon having breakfast, tell yourself

you’re beautiful,

when you’re getting dressed for the day, tell yourself

you’re beautiful

when you step out of your home tell yourself

you’re beautiful.

when you see an enemy tell yourself,

you’re beautiful.

Why? Because you’re beautiful and it deserves to be highlighted.

You deserve to be happy!

Stay beautiful and beboldhideless 

A x