Confidence · lifestyle

Never give up, because you can


Girls can do anything!

As any “new” beginner or anyone who hasn’t blogged in a while. It can be difficult to start writing again, or even know what to write about.  You write something and realise it doesn’t make sense or even flow well, and then erase it! I have attempted to blog far too many times but don’t feel my content is “perfect”.  Wait……does perfect even exist? I don’t think so, yet I try to aim for that; we aim for something which does not exist. And that only crushes us.

Moving on,

After three years of hard work, long hours and intense studying I can officially say I am now a graduate. I have graduated with a nursing degree and I can now say I am a qualified nurse. It was not easy and has to be one of the difficult things I have done, particularly going through my final year……but I did it!

I remember when I was younger being asked what I wanted to do when I was older, and I said a nurse. I did not say anything else other than that. It was always a nurse. From then till now, I stayed focus and was determined to achieve it.

There were plenty of obstacles in my way in the form of “people” and myself. They thought I could not do it, was not intellectual enough or confident enough to achieve my goals. However, I did not let that get to me. I did not allow peoples negative comments to determine my future.

I came across these quotes, which I feel reiterates the importance of avoiding negative people or, being surrounded by people who will not support your decisions or choices.

“Protect your good image from the eyes of negative viewers, who may look at your good appearance with an ugly fiendish eye, and ruin your positive qualities with their chemical infested tongues.” 
― Michael Bassey Johnson

“You cannot expect to live a positive life if you hang with negative people.” 
― Joel Osteen

I’d like to share with you 3 things you need to do to achieve your goals and stay focused:

  1. Avoid hanging with negative people> its not always easy to detect those negative people around you. But, they will most likely always discourage you from achieving what you want to achieve. They will always tell you what they want to tell you not what they should be telling you. Not only do you have to listen to these people to know that they are being negative, sometimes you have a gut feeling. Some people will choose to ignore it whereas others would go with their gut. I myself, often go with my gut, because sometimes you could end up being blind of someones pessimism that you end up spending a lot of time with them. One word to describe them is, toxic!
  2. Change your attitude > spending most of your time with negative people is likely to affect your mood and attitude towards others and yourself. Allow yourself to express positive emotions by repeating positive affirmations.  Engage in activities and sports that make you feel like a queen. Be mindful and conscious of negative affirmations you may develop as they will have an awfully negative effect on your life- as you may have heard, if you repeat something often you will end up believing it. The dangers of negative affirmations is that it may lead you to develop, depression, low self-esteem and confidence The mind is very powerful and whatever you tell it, it believes it.  The only person who has the power to change this is yourself. For this reason, anytime you have a negative comment, you must replace it with a positive affirmation.
  3.  Believe in yourself! > You need to have fun faith in yourself and be mindful of your capabilities and strengths.  Know that you have a lot of offer, despite how many hardships have come your way, regardless of what difficulty your currently in; know your power and your strength.  It’s quite easy for us to focus on our losses in the day and negatives that we encountered, instead of focusing on and counting all the positive experiences we have had.  I allow myself to look back and focus on the positive things that have happened rather than coming home and dwelling on all the toxic things I have seen; it can be difficult but you have to train yourself. Just keep doing it!

Theres the phrase, “the world is what you make it”, if you make it into a good place then it’ll be good but, if you make it out to be bad, then you’ll just see the bad.

Remember that every obstacle is an opportunity.

Smile and remember to

be bold hide less,



lifestyle · Uncategorized

Love thy self

“The only person who can pull me down is myself, and I’m not going to let myself pull me down anymore.” 

C. Joybell C. 

“If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.” 
― Charles Bukowski 

Love, love, love, what does it actually mean? a word that we take lightly and thrive to feel.

Love can be defined as an indescribable, deep euphoric feeling for someone ; or yourself. Who says that you can’t love yourself. Love is an incredibly powerful word with so much emotion.

Yet, why do we find it so hard to love ourselves?

I understood the word love to be a strong emotion, and that it could only be applied to what you desired and enjoyed. I never thought of loving myself nor, did it come to mind once. I actually believed you could only love others, and not yourself; that was the whole point of love. Little did I know. That’s a bit silly isn’t it? But, again coming from an environment where you were not told to love yourself or, were able to experience love made it difficult to apply and understand its meaning.

There are many reasons why we made it find it hard to love ourselves; these include:

A. Bad experiences: having traumatic or damaging experiences during our childhood or early years can make it difficult for us to love ourselves. We are programmed rather than condition to love ourselves more when something good happens and dislike ourselves when we meet failure. These awful experiences will only cause us to be destructive to ourselves and not loving oneself can be very harmful. 

B. Not being told to love yourself: coming from a background or an environment where ‘self-love’ was not preached or advocated for can make it extremely difficult for someone to love themselves.

C.  low self-esteem: will cause a person to have negative thoughts about themselves such as they’re” unlovable or, unworthy”. The thought of loving themselves certainly will not come to mind.

The benefits of loving yourself is immense, and we should encourage one another to love ourselves, otherwise if we don’t then who will?

Loving yourself allows us to:

  1. enjoy life more
  2. expands your relationships with others
  3. makes you more attractive
  4. makes you a lot stronger
  5. contributes to your growth!

You are beautiful the way you are and should not have to change for anyone! Love yourself before you love anyone else; you are more deserving than you think.

Be bold hide less

A x

Life · Pain · Uncategorized

Are you really worth it?

The story of why I keep blaming myself….battle.jpg

For a long time now I never really understood myself. I haven’t been able to understand why I am such a reserved person; for a while now I haven’t felt like I know who I am.

Only recently do I feel like I am getting to know myself. I am hopefully beginning to love myself more and use more of my capabilities

There is a particular issue I want to address, it’s the issue which will hopefully make more sense as you read along..

I’ve been raised around family most of my life, as most people have I presume. My family were pretty much my life. We would do everything together. I even considered them to be my best friends- for that reason I didn’t particularly make much friendships. Looking back now I feel like that perhaps wasn’t the best of ideas because it meant that I was not able to form very close relationships with people because I knew that I could do most things with my family.

Only now, in my early twenties have I realised that things aren’t what it is. Now that I see the “family” I was once close to, who was once my world, have I realised that it was not a healthy relationship.

I feel like I’m losing track of what I’m saying….

During my late teens, I made a disclosure, a disclosure which was going to change the rest of my life.…… in particular how I viewed my family. But, was going to uncover myself.

Before I made the disclosure, I knew I would not be supported, I knew that my “family” would be against it. Yet, I still hoped. I had a tiny bit of hope, why? Because I’m someone who has faith and hope is what keeps me moving.

As predicted, the reaction was that of shock and horror, and no it’s not what you think.

The reaction I received was anger. I had in some way betrayed the family.

Surely, I shouldn’t be blamed for something that was not my fault? No? I guess they thought otherwise..

For years now I’m talking less than five years I’ve had to come to terms with this. I’ve been blaming myself so much for everything that has gone wrong, I’ve had to listen to the sly comments and pretending everything is okay, when in actual fact…I mean clearly things are not ok.

I’ve had to hide my emotions… ignore them and pretend they’re not there, despite the amount of times they would creep up….I would quickly shut the lid and say “there is no room to deal with the pain” Honestly, the pain and hurt just cannot be expressed in words.

-Do you understand why I blame myself for everything?-

For the next…only God knows how long, I was to live in an environment that was toxic, harmful, pernicious and draining- that was called, home.

Words cannot express how much pain this place causes me. It causes me so much hurt and anguish. Home is meant to be a place you come back to, a place where you feel safe and secure. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t feel like I’m not safe. I just need positivity around me,

It is extremely difficult when you want to work on yourself and grow as a person and yet you’re surrounded by so much negativity.

There are times when I can feel myself grow, then suddenly, I come crashing down. All the self-hate comments come running….. Most of the times there is a trigger.

“you’re worthless, ugly, weak, a burden…..” They just don’t stop.

You feel worthless, unloved, weak, degraded… you’re basically battling with yourself.

The way I deal with this when they creep up on me is by repeating affirmations, may sound weird, but repeating comments like “I am great. I am confident. I am beautiful” can actually make a massive difference in terms of erasing the negative thoughts. As humans, we tend to dwell on the negative comments. For example, if someone asks how your day went, most often than not you will mention everything that went wrong or, talk about how your boss treats you awfully, right? Have we ever mentioned how great our day went or, the amazing chocolates your colleague, who you dislike, brought in today?

*just something to think about*

Only recently have I felt myself growing and becoming stronger, much stronger than before.

If I’ve learnt something I have learnt that as humans, we adapt to change. We adapt to things to help ourselves cope and to help us thrive. I mean I would say one of our strengths is that we can adapt whatever the weather.

I just wanted to share my experience nor, do I want this to go on any longer, which is why I’m cutting it short. But I do want people to know that I don’t act the way I do because I’m being snobbish or, arrogant. It’s just I’m trying to survive.

The person I am today is because of my previous experiences and current because without this, I’m telling you I wouldn’t have come this far nor, would I be the person I am. I’m am standing x10 stronger because of my experiences. The key thing I’d like to share is self-reflection – It’s the secret to a happy and mindful life.

I am utterly grateful for everything that I have experienced and gone through. I will admit, it wasn’t easy, as I have mentioned previously but, I can see myself changing for the better and getting to know who I am; which is something I haven’t been able to do for a while.

I am thankful to God, for getting me through these difficult years and days. Without His Mercy, I honestly wouldn’t be where I am.

“Be your own torch bearer– be a light through your dark days and see your way out. For darkness does not exist if there is light, and light does not exist without darkness.” A


A x

Source: image from*