Life · lifestyle · Pain

You are, your own enemy

I’m back at it again. and I wanted to let you know how my journey was going.

Today marks the end, yet the beginning ,of what I hope will be a beautiful journey.

I have successfully completed my therapy sessions (counselling) and I honestly feel like I have benefited so much. To give you a small insight, I have begun to feel comfortable in my own skin and have a much better awareness of my current situation; something I haven’t been able to do thus far.

It has not been easy.

It wasn’t an easy journey,

I honestly remember going into my first session, bearing in mind I have never spoken about my emotions, to either a friend or family member, let alone a stranger, was one of the most difficult things I have done. Yet, I had the strength to keep going back. Despite how awful I felt I kept going. There’s a phrase “you are your own enemy” < this is what I was conscious of, I knew that the only person who could get in my way, was myself. So I battled and fought.

*It’s actually not as easy as I thought it would be to write about my emotions and journey*.

To go into a room, where it is you and a “stranger”, and the sessions are going to be about “you”. “You” are the focus of discussion, was something I had to come to terms with. Something I had to get use to despite how uncomfortable it made me feel, despite how much I wanted to crawl into a ball and disappear, because, I knew that, I know longer wanted to feel this way.

I know longer wanted to feel as though life was not worth living, I know longer wanted to live in my past,
I know longer want to be silenced. I want to live in the present, without paining. I want to be free. I want a voice.

To grow and overcome this trauma, I must connect with myself.

I must connect with that inner child, I was not able to comfort, reassure, love and support.

That inner child is calling me back, is calling to ask for a hug, to ask for my love, comfort and support. It is asking for the things I was not a
ble to give; I promise I will give you all that was missing. 

I have acknowledged and I’m healing. I am on the journey.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have a long way to go but, I’m hopeful. To be honest, I feel as though I don’t have much of a choice, I’m either hopeful or, I’m hopeful. Not much of a choice is there?

As I have mentioned,  it marks the end, yet the beginning. I will continue to grow as a person and I will continue to focus on what’s around me, rather than that which I don’t have

These past couple months, I have realised that the only person that can stop you from growing and believing in yourself, is yourself. You really are your own worst enemy. And until you realise this, you will continue to harm yourself and stay static. You need to acknowledge and realise what you are doing
; you can do this alone or, may need someones help/support, (remember, it is okay to ask for help) once this happens, you can start your journey… 

Stay focused and be strong. Remember to always through the good and bad to, beboldhideless

A xfriend or foe

*Image from thethingswesay.com*

 

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