FGM is a silent epidemic?

It has been a while since I last posted. It’s been a long road, and its almost near the end…. or shall I say the beginning.

long road

The stress of being in final year….in my final semester has honestly been the most difficult thing I have done. I honestly thought it could not get any worse, little did I know.

Completing my final project was a challenge that I thoroughly enjoyed doing, despite the anxiety and troubles it would cause me. All those late nights and days being spent in the library was an experience, one which I could look back on and smile about now….although during that period I did not think I could ever smile about it. I don’t think anyone does when you’re in that position.

The topic I choose was an extremely difficult and personal one, it was on Female Genital Mutilation (FGM), for those that don’t know, it is an extremely barbaric practice which involves the removal of all or, part of a women’s genitalia for non-medical reasons; it is considered a violation of the human rights of women and girls. It is a cultural practice, practised in 28 countries in Africa, in Asia and the Middle East.

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Spending almost four months working on this project and reading very distressing content daily as part of the research was honestly the most difficult thing I have done. But I did it, I managed to complete my project and ended up achieving an outstanding grade.

All the anxiety and overwhelming emotions was honestly worth it at the end. What kept me going was the fact that I want to be able to help these women!

I wanted to highlight that FGM is a problem, regardless of where you are in the world, it is affecting our women and girls. It is estimated that over 2million girls have undergone FGM in countries which it is concentrated.

My project looked at the challenges these women face when accessing healthcare services.

Conclusion….it is a problem and it is unacceptable. 

‘Some health care workers do not want to question those who have been subjected to FGM or , even the practice itself, for fear of disrespecting peoples culture’.

As members of society it is our duty of care to protect all vulnerable people including women, children and the disabled.  and girls The phrase “disrespecting people’s culture” should not be a reason why we do not act to protect members of society; we should not let people be abused in the name of culture.

Why do we do this?

Is it because these women and children are black or from any other ethnic minority background, dark-skinned, bilingual, which is why we do not question this practice? Is it because you do not consider them your children?

And yes, FGM is abuse; it is dangerous and considered a felony. Many of these women do not consent to the practice, while others are manipulated to have it done. If they refuse to have it done then they will be marginalised and ostracised from community members.

I want you to know that just because FGM is a cultural practice :

A. does not mean that you cannot question it

B. does not mean that you cannot call it abuse

C.does not make it acceptable

D. does not suggest that these women or girls, or those from practising communities do not want help.

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We must know longer sit in silence and stand up against FGM!

Just know that despite all the pain, stress and emotions you experience whilst studying, it will not last long; remember that you will look back and wonder why you was stressing.

Tips for achieving a *:

  1. you must know what you want and really want it
  2. develop a good relationship with the library
  3. research
  4. speak to those already involved in the topic such as activists
  5. be enthusiastic and passionate about topic.

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Stay bliss and remember to beboldhideless

A x

Don’t hold your breath

These past few weeks and days have been hectic and busy.  I submitted my final project of the year! yaaaay me! and have been planning for other assignments that need to be completed before summer….. if you’re interested, I have been successfully procrastinating with that and its no fun.

I was reading a book the other day, and it made me think and ponder. It goes like so “Your life span is but one day; with this attitude you will not be caught between an obsession over the past with all its anxiety, and the hopes for the future with all its uncertainty. Live for today.”

grateful.pngOnce I read this statement, I decided that I wanted to live life like this; I wanted to be in the present. In every way possible, I have tried to not dwell too much on the past or, look too ahead in the future; if I do this I will have the opportunity to live in the present. I will not miss out on the things which are right there in front of me.

For too long now I have been looking at my past, I have been focused on that which I do not have and that which I lost. It would make me completely oblivious and blind to the things which were in front of me. This only increased me in sadness and grief; living in a constant state of anxiety.

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To overcome this I have been writing:

  1. all things which I am grateful for every morning
  2. my strengths and qualities whenever I feel worthless and down.

It has been proven that a way to overcome your sadness and low mood is by showing gratitude. Sounds simple but, yet many of us do not focus on this. We tend to dwell on that which we do not have. When we are thankful and grateful for something we are automatically looking at that which is working in our life rather that which is not. Just by writing 3 things which we are grateful for everyday can improve our mood.

Remember to always thank God for all that He has done for you. For keeping you strong. You may not see it but out of His Mercy He has protected you and given you strength. He has allowed you to see today, and has given you an opportunity to embark on your journey; so make sure that you give every thanks to Him. 

Don’t get me wrong, if you have gone through trauma or been wronged by a colleague, manager or friend and have not had justice, then of course you will find it hard to not dwell on the past. You will feel fear, anger, guilt and shame but, this can all contribute to your growth. It’s okay to grieve over that which you have lost. 

Dwelling on the past is like driving your car with your foot on the brake, your eyes on the rearview mirror, and your gas tank empty.  You’re wondering why you aren’t moving forward, and yet all the while you’re focused on the wrong direction.  Parrott and Warren.

You need to not dwell on it for too long, for this only increases you in being static. If you want to grow and embark on the journey then you need to start moving and stop dwelling on the past; stop beating yourself up; stop blaming yourself; for you only deserve better and nothing less.

Don’t allow anyone to tell you any less; for you are beautiful and courageous.

I want you to know that you can live in the moment. You can enjoy what you have despite all the pain and suffering you have gone through. You just need to take small steps… this includes not spending most of your time looking back. It’s time to live in the moment.

Stay strong and beboldhideless

A x

It’s okay not to be okay

Hurts.

Hurt is an emotion, it’s a feeling, it’s something thats very deep. And it hurts.

We have either been hurt or are hurt by others.

It can be painful and uncomfortable to deal with.

One of the reasons for this hurt is because again, I touch upon, our expectations we have of people.

We expect so much, that when that isn’t fulfilled we become broken. We feel our lives have crumbled down. We feel as though we can no longer move on with anything. It hurts, it really hurts and pains.

We wonder what we’ve done to be treated this way.

We contemplate on life, and wonder why people are acting in such a way, why must we always be hurt? 

Our contemplation leads us to think “why must I continue?” “What is the point?” “I can’t do this anymore” “I’m in so much pain”.

You feel as though you’re in a tight compacted container, with little air to breathe, you feel the walls closing in as though its something thats in a computer game, you feel your heart racing and find it hard to control your breathing, something that is an unconscious movement now becomes conscious.

You just want it to end, you want it to stop you just want the world to stop spinning around you.

This is only short-term pain, my dear. It is what you make it out to be.

You’ve been chosen to go through this pain. Your name is written all over it…

Life can be such a FLU sometimes. I know it hurts! I know.

Silhouette of Woman Kneeling in Prayer and Surrender

 

 

 

 

 

My dear sister or, brother

Please have the strength to keep going! I promise it wont last long. Only for a little while longer. 

I know you’ve gone through so much hurt and pain,

You feel no one will listen

There is someone who will listen.

Remember God does not burden a soul more than it can bear. You are going through this struggle and not your neighbour or, you relative, thats because you can handle it. You just have to find healthy ways of coping.

I’d like to share 3 healthy ways I cope when things get tough. They are:

  1. Praying. Whether you believe in a God or, not. This is something that has given me so much strength, peace and patience. I honestly would say it’s a secret weapon.
  2. Going to the gym. This is something I’ve been doing since my easy teens and have now made it a regular routine to go at least once a week. Makes you feel so wonderful and good; as though you’re on top of the world 🙂
  3. Eating healthy greens. Its’ a new thing I’m trying. The phrase you hear “you are what you eat” is real! Hear me out.. the types of food you eat has a massive effect on your outer and inner beauty. Even your mood!  (I’ll hopefully be blogging about this shortly) I would start off by having a banana and spinach smoothie (with or without soya milk). It’s literally so so good.

Stay strong and beboldhideless 

A x