Confidence · lifestyle

Never give up, because you can

 

Girls can do anything!

As any “new” beginner or anyone who hasn’t blogged in a while. It can be difficult to start writing again, or even know what to write about.  You write something and realise it doesn’t make sense or even flow well, and then erase it! I have attempted to blog far too many times but don’t feel my content is “perfect”.  Wait……does perfect even exist? I don’t think so, yet I try to aim for that; we aim for something which does not exist. And that only crushes us.

Moving on,

After three years of hard work, long hours and intense studying I can officially say I am now a graduate. I have graduated with a nursing degree and I can now say I am a qualified nurse. It was not easy and has to be one of the difficult things I have done, particularly going through my final year……but I did it!

I remember when I was younger being asked what I wanted to do when I was older, and I said a nurse. I did not say anything else other than that. It was always a nurse. From then till now, I stayed focus and was determined to achieve it.

There were plenty of obstacles in my way in the form of “people” and myself. They thought I could not do it, was not intellectual enough or confident enough to achieve my goals. However, I did not let that get to me. I did not allow peoples negative comments to determine my future.

I came across these quotes, which I feel reiterates the importance of avoiding negative people or, being surrounded by people who will not support your decisions or choices.

“Protect your good image from the eyes of negative viewers, who may look at your good appearance with an ugly fiendish eye, and ruin your positive qualities with their chemical infested tongues.” 
― Michael Bassey Johnson

“You cannot expect to live a positive life if you hang with negative people.” 
― Joel Osteen

I’d like to share with you 3 things you need to do to achieve your goals and stay focused:

  1. Avoid hanging with negative people> its not always easy to detect those negative people around you. But, they will most likely always discourage you from achieving what you want to achieve. They will always tell you what they want to tell you not what they should be telling you. Not only do you have to listen to these people to know that they are being negative, sometimes you have a gut feeling. Some people will choose to ignore it whereas others would go with their gut. I myself, often go with my gut, because sometimes you could end up being blind of someones pessimism that you end up spending a lot of time with them. One word to describe them is, toxic!
  2. Change your attitude > spending most of your time with negative people is likely to affect your mood and attitude towards others and yourself. Allow yourself to express positive emotions by repeating positive affirmations.  Engage in activities and sports that make you feel like a queen. Be mindful and conscious of negative affirmations you may develop as they will have an awfully negative effect on your life- as you may have heard, if you repeat something often you will end up believing it. The dangers of negative affirmations is that it may lead you to develop, depression, low self-esteem and confidence The mind is very powerful and whatever you tell it, it believes it.  The only person who has the power to change this is yourself. For this reason, anytime you have a negative comment, you must replace it with a positive affirmation.
  3.  Believe in yourself! > You need to have fun faith in yourself and be mindful of your capabilities and strengths.  Know that you have a lot of offer, despite how many hardships have come your way, regardless of what difficulty your currently in; know your power and your strength.  It’s quite easy for us to focus on our losses in the day and negatives that we encountered, instead of focusing on and counting all the positive experiences we have had.  I allow myself to look back and focus on the positive things that have happened rather than coming home and dwelling on all the toxic things I have seen; it can be difficult but you have to train yourself. Just keep doing it!

Theres the phrase, “the world is what you make it”, if you make it into a good place then it’ll be good but, if you make it out to be bad, then you’ll just see the bad.

Remember that every obstacle is an opportunity.

Smile and remember to

be bold hide less,

Ax

 

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lifestyle · Uncategorized

Love thy self

“The only person who can pull me down is myself, and I’m not going to let myself pull me down anymore.” 

C. Joybell C. 

“If you have the ability to love, love yourself first.” 
― Charles Bukowski 

Love, love, love, what does it actually mean? a word that we take lightly and thrive to feel.

Love can be defined as an indescribable, deep euphoric feeling for someone ; or yourself. Who says that you can’t love yourself. Love is an incredibly powerful word with so much emotion.

Yet, why do we find it so hard to love ourselves?

I understood the word love to be a strong emotion, and that it could only be applied to what you desired and enjoyed. I never thought of loving myself nor, did it come to mind once. I actually believed you could only love others, and not yourself; that was the whole point of love. Little did I know. That’s a bit silly isn’t it? But, again coming from an environment where you were not told to love yourself or, were able to experience love made it difficult to apply and understand its meaning.

There are many reasons why we made it find it hard to love ourselves; these include:

A. Bad experiences: having traumatic or damaging experiences during our childhood or early years can make it difficult for us to love ourselves. We are programmed rather than condition to love ourselves more when something good happens and dislike ourselves when we meet failure. These awful experiences will only cause us to be destructive to ourselves and not loving oneself can be very harmful. 

B. Not being told to love yourself: coming from a background or an environment where ‘self-love’ was not preached or advocated for can make it extremely difficult for someone to love themselves.

C.  low self-esteem: will cause a person to have negative thoughts about themselves such as they’re” unlovable or, unworthy”. The thought of loving themselves certainly will not come to mind.

The benefits of loving yourself is immense, and we should encourage one another to love ourselves, otherwise if we don’t then who will?

Loving yourself allows us to:

  1. enjoy life more
  2. expands your relationships with others
  3. makes you more attractive
  4. makes you a lot stronger
  5. contributes to your growth!

You are beautiful the way you are and should not have to change for anyone! Love yourself before you love anyone else; you are more deserving than you think.

Be bold hide less

A x

Education · lifestyle · Personal

FGM is a silent epidemic

It has been a while since I last posted. It’s been a long road, and its almost near the end…. or shall I say the beginning.

long road

The stress of being in final year….in my final semester has honestly been the most difficult thing I have done. I honestly thought it could not get any worse, little did I know.

Completing my final project was a challenge that I thoroughly enjoyed doing, despite the anxiety and troubles it would cause me. All those late nights and days being spent in the library was an experience, one which I could look back on and smile about now….although during that period I did not think I could ever smile about it. I don’t think anyone does when you’re in that position.

The topic I choose was an extremely difficult and personal one, it was on Female Genital Mutilation (FGM), for those that don’t know, it is an extremely barbaric practice which involves the removal of all or, part of a women’s genitalia for non-medical reasons; it is considered a violation of the human rights of women and girls. It is a cultural practice, practised in 28 countries in Africa, in Asia and the Middle East.

fgm-bawso-nspcc02

Spending almost four months working on this project and reading very distressing content daily as part of the research was honestly the most difficult thing I have done. But I did it, I managed to complete my project and ended up achieving an outstanding grade.

All the anxiety and overwhelming emotions was honestly worth it at the end. What kept me going was the fact that I want to be able to help these women!

I wanted to highlight that FGM is a problem, regardless of where you are in the world, it is affecting our women and girls. It is estimated that over 2million girls have undergone FGM in countries which it is concentrated.

My project looked at the challenges these women face when accessing healthcare services.

Conclusion….it is a problem and it is unacceptable. 

‘Some health care workers do not want to question those who have been subjected to FGM or , even the practice itself, for fear of disrespecting peoples culture’.

As members of society it is our duty of care to protect all vulnerable people including women, children and the disabled.  and girls The phrase “disrespecting people’s culture” should not be a reason why we do not act to protect members of society; we should not let people be abused in the name of culture.

Why do we do this?

Is it because these women and children are black or from any other ethnic minority background, dark-skinned, bilingual, which is why we do not question this practice? Is it because you do not consider them your children?

And yes, FGM is abuse; it is dangerous and considered a felony. Many of these women do not consent to the practice, while others are manipulated to have it done. If they refuse to have it done then they will be marginalised and ostracised from community members.

I want you to know that just because FGM is a cultural practice :

A. does not mean that you cannot question it

B. does not mean that you cannot call it abuse

C.does not make it acceptable

D. does not suggest that these women or girls, or those from practising communities do not want help.

fgm-logo2

We must know longer sit in silence and stand up against FGM!

Just know that despite all the pain, stress and emotions you experience whilst studying, it will not last long; remember that you will look back and wonder why you was stressing.

Tips for achieving a *:

  1. you must know what you want and really want it
  2. develop a good relationship with the library
  3. research
  4. speak to those already involved in the topic such as activists
  5. be enthusiastic and passionate about topic.

Gratitude-dance-small

 

Stay bliss and remember to beboldhideless

A x

Life · lifestyle · Uncategorized

I just want the world to know, you’re

Beautiful.

b

This is something we are not told often by our friends, our families, our neighbours, our colleagues or even……ourselves.

It is something that is very very important,

Yet, we are NOT told often……..

We do not tell OURSELVES we are beautiful.

We do NOT hear it enough.

Instead, we hear and focus on all the negative comments,

“You’re too skinny” “you’re fat” “Your thighs are too big” “your skin is too dark”

We cling onto all these nasty comments, that now “we” begin to believe it.

We start living these comments, until we no longer feel good about ourselves,

Until our self-worth heads down the drain and our self-esteem jumps out the window.

O, how happy would that make our enemies!

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Do you ever consider how harmful it is to not tell yourself you are beautiful? To define oneself as beautiful..

“The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole,but true beauty in a Woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she knows.”  Audrey Hepburn 

We are so busy focusing on outer beauty, beauty which is short-lived, that we completely neglect our inner beauty, beauty which is long-lasting,

Inner beauty is important for growth, yet many of us neglect it; we are heedless of this. The same way planting a seed requires nurturing and observing, to help it grow and stand strong, is the same way us, as humans require constant nurturing and attention; to allow us to become the best that we can.

In order to focus on this inner beauty, then you need to start by planting and nurturing the seed:

Step 1: You need to start off by telling yourself every day, maybe more than once a day, how beautiful you are…I know it may sound weird or even uncomfortable but, it is vital for growth growth. Once you start nurturing this seed, will you then begin to see the outer beauty.

Step 2: Keep away from toxic individuals.  It may be something that is obvious. But sometimes even those closest to us, are often the most harmful.  Those individuals who constantly highlight your shortcomings and remind you of your imperfections are the ones to avoid. STAY AWAY.

 

I want you to tell yourself:

Upon rising in the morning, tell yourself,

You’re beautiful.

Upon heading to the bathroom, tell yourself

you’re beautiful

Upon having breakfast, tell yourself

you’re beautiful,

when you’re getting dressed for the day, tell yourself

you’re beautiful

when you step out of your home tell yourself

you’re beautiful.

when you see an enemy tell yourself,

you’re beautiful.

Why? Because you’re beautiful and it deserves to be highlighted.

You deserve to be happy!

Stay beautiful and beboldhideless 

A x

Life · lifestyle · Pain

You are, your own enemy

I’m back at it again. and I wanted to let you know how my journey was going.

Today marks the end, yet the beginning ,of what I hope will be a beautiful journey.

I have successfully completed my therapy sessions (counselling) and I honestly feel like I have benefited so much. To give you a small insight, I have begun to feel comfortable in my own skin and have a much better awareness of my current situation; something I haven’t been able to do thus far.

It has not been easy.

It wasn’t an easy journey,

I honestly remember going into my first session, bearing in mind I have never spoken about my emotions, to either a friend or family member, let alone a stranger, was one of the most difficult things I have done. Yet, I had the strength to keep going back. Despite how awful I felt I kept going. There’s a phrase “you are your own enemy” < this is what I was conscious of, I knew that the only person who could get in my way, was myself. So I battled and fought.

*It’s actually not as easy as I thought it would be to write about my emotions and journey*.

To go into a room, where it is you and a “stranger”, and the sessions are going to be about “you”. “You” are the focus of discussion, was something I had to come to terms with. Something I had to get use to despite how uncomfortable it made me feel, despite how much I wanted to crawl into a ball and disappear, because, I knew that, I know longer wanted to feel this way.

I know longer wanted to feel as though life was not worth living, I know longer wanted to live in my past,
I know longer want to be silenced. I want to live in the present, without paining. I want to be free. I want a voice.

To grow and overcome this trauma, I must connect with myself.

I must connect with that inner child, I was not able to comfort, reassure, love and support.

That inner child is calling me back, is calling to ask for a hug, to ask for my love, comfort and support. It is asking for the things I was not a
ble to give; I promise I will give you all that was missing. 

I have acknowledged and I’m healing. I am on the journey.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have a long way to go but, I’m hopeful. To be honest, I feel as though I don’t have much of a choice, I’m either hopeful or, I’m hopeful. Not much of a choice is there?

As I have mentioned,  it marks the end, yet the beginning. I will continue to grow as a person and I will continue to focus on what’s around me, rather than that which I don’t have

These past couple months, I have realised that the only person that can stop you from growing and believing in yourself, is yourself. You really are your own worst enemy. And until you realise this, you will continue to harm yourself and stay static. You need to acknowledge and realise what you are doing
; you can do this alone or, may need someones help/support, (remember, it is okay to ask for help) once this happens, you can start your journey… 

Stay focused and be strong. Remember to always through the good and bad to, beboldhideless

A xfriend or foe

*Image from thethingswesay.com*

 

Life · lifestyle · Uncategorized

it’s just fear, they say

It’s been a while now since I’ve last posted and honestly, I just haven’t had the chance to post.

I’ve been ridiculously busy with studies, especially being in my final year, so much has been happening, deadlines are around the corner; writing a dissertation, planning an assignment, exams and applying for graduate jobs. You name it.

I can’t believe its happening so fast; I almost feel as though I haven’t been given a chance to breathe.

Honestly, I cannot believe that I’ve applied for graduate jobs already. JOBS. I mean this isn’t like any other job I’ve applied for, its a dream job.I mean, is it too soon? am I ready? can I handle the responsibility? so many thoughts rushing through my mind. Leaving me questioning myself, questioning what I want in life?  whether this is right for me? or whether I can handle this? 

finish line
This is fear.

And fear will honestly prevent you from achieving what you want to achieve,

It will make you doubt yourself

It will sabotage you.

And ruin you, if you allow it to. And Yes fear can be a friend. It can be helpful. So long as you do not let it overpower you.

You need to be in control and confident. And know EXACTLY what you want in life. Otherwise, your fears will take control; it will manifest itself through every aspect of your life. Preventing you from seeing or even living your dreams. It’s not a good way to live and will cause you to shy away.  A way I respond to these repetitive questions that arise because of fear is by:

  •  asking myself why.

Why did I choose this degree? why did I apply for this job and what do I want to do long-term?

 

By having answers to these questions, makes me confident in the decisions I have had to make.  The key is having answers. If you don’t have an answer then that may heighten many emotions.

I’m not perfect and I’m still learning. But I do keep going and remind myself to

beboldhideless 

A x